Have been thinking about this since last sat after nationals, should I leave the team?

I know a few other team members might be leaving due to parents or other issues. Ohwell, I guess I am too.

I have other priorities in life now, especially after last year when daddy passed away. Last time I just have to bother more about myself, but now, I have more responsibilities. My mom is the only income earner, me and sister still schooling, we have the house and car to pay up. I have a job now, althgh have not started yet, but when school starts, I can work after school and not being occupied for almost 5h 3times a wk. Jo is having her PSLE this year too, I will be able to coach and monitor her when I'm at home. See the amt of time she spends on fb and you know how hard is it to trust that she will do her work.

However, there is something in Blazers that keeps me hesitating whether to leave. Last year, I said that I'm not leaving cause Kelwin was the captain. Plus, whenever I'm on training ground, I feel so relieve, like there is this moment where I do not have to bother about school work, just train and enjoy for the few hrs. The team brings joy and laughter to me. And now that fiona is the new captain, how can I leave again.

Everyone has responsibilities in life, so it should not be a good reason to stop me from leaving. But another issue is my standing in cheer. I also wonder, I work so hard for cheer but am I going to continue after I graduate from TP. And what have I achieve so far in TP Blazers, 2 years in the team and have not perform in competitions. In performance, either a backspot or not even in the performance. The girls of my batch are alrdy doing b-toss backtuck, single lib. Whr am I? Still at elevator. So the juniors come in, I will be doing what they are doing. I got to admit I have no faith in myself doing the stunts, I keep thinking I can't. Each time I try hard, but I still cannot, seeing the disappointed face on coach and captain's face, it makes me think what's the point of trying so hard. I still stuck at whr I am.

I want to do stuff like what a good flyer can do, but will I ever be ready with the confidence to do it. Will my responsibilities allow me to do it? Will my love for the team keep me from leaving?